Please Be My Savior
by Kisuke-chan
Summary: When will the pain ever end for me... When can I go back and live how I used too...
1. Chapter 1

It was dark and especially cold on this very night.

Screams were heard but silenced as soon as it tried to make a complete word.

The darkness in one's heart was creeping closer forever to be gone in the black infinity of his soul. Even the hope that he had felt was slowly disolving away leaving only one small glimmer of light.

When his screams were silenced he decided it was futile. His pride and shame would no longer let him scream on this fateful night.

His pride for he thought he was better then this and that this pain he was feeling would go away soon. The shame for he was letting this happen to his frail yet beautiful body that he for so long has worked on to keep it this figure.

Soon the pain did stop but only with the sound of those sickening sweet words that has haunted him since the first time he felt this pain. _"I love you." _Those words that were suppose to bring joy to his ears only caused more pain and confusion when uttered every night.

_Why is this happening? Has God forsaken him by letting this happen to him every night for the past 6 years? Why would the person that "_loves him_" be causing him so much pain?_

His questioning was silenced by his quiet whimpers when he heard the man walk out saying, "Good Night my sweet, Tino." Satisfied with his words the man walked out leaving Tino to cry in his bed for the last time.

It was especially dark and cold this night for another man that was in the streets limping in an akwardly fashion as people stopped and stared at the battered man.

He was tall with pale blonde hair and beautiful azure eyes yet with his glasses caused him to seem like he was glaring which would scare a child.

The pain he felt was undescribable. He was in pain for he got in a fight with a friend of his's ex boyfriend. He had mistaken him for he thought he was her new man was infuriated by this and decide to assault him with his friends close behind. Instead of fighting back, which would hurt his friend to see her ex in pain, he let them assault him which was a big mistake as soon as the fight began.

The men had bats with them but the ex had a knife which he was slashing away in the air trying to cut the tall swedish man. But soon after everything went black when he heard a scream of his friend and her ex saying, "Begone SATAN!" It was odd hearing that but when he awoke he realized he was on the street outside of his friends apartment.

The man was used to getting into fights for he used to be part of a gang and was the gang leader's bodyguard but thi was the only time he ever experienced this kind of pain.

He walked (or rather limped) all the way outside of town into the woods not knowing where he was going but all he knew was that he wanted to get out of this town. He walked for what seemed like hours until finally he could no longer walk.

_When did it start to rain_, he wondered.

He looked up at the sky wanting to see the beautiful stars he so loved but only saw was the branches of trees and the darkening clouds raining as if it was weeping for him. His knees collided with the ground leaving him to cringe from the pain. But soon darkness took over once again as he fell to the ground leaving him to think he was going to die.

Fortunatly the hope that was dying out inside of him would change those plans for tomorrow, everything was going to change.


	2. Chapter 2

When light showed through the window and filled the whole room the small blonde boy stirred in his sleep.

Opening his eyes slowly for the light slightly blinded him he sat up and yawned loudly only to discover immense pain sear through his entire body at the sudden movement.

He yelped in pain and everything almost went black. He looked at his naked body remembering what had happened last night slowly but clearly in his mind. He traced his fingers down every cut and bruise on his legs and slightly brushed his fingertips on his penis for there to were cuts and bite marks.

A single tear seaped its way out slowly almost caressing his face as it fell onto the sheets.

He began to cry.

The swedish man awoke finding himself in a strange place he was not familiar of.

He sat up as he searched for his glasses as he realized that everything was extremely blurry. He found them on a counter that was next to the bed (at least thats what it felt like to him) and placed them on only to gasp as he re-examined his surroundings.

He was in what looked to be a bakery/house. At least thats what it looked like when he saw endless amounts of cakes and other assortment of sweets. He realized he lay in what appears to be a futon with a japanese flag as the design and he wore a kimono which only went down to his knees and the sleeves to his elbows.

"Ah I see your awake." A man with a thick German accent said.

That was something the swed wasn't expecting.

He looked over at the man who spoke (who was indeed very german looking). He had paler blonde hair then what the swed had which was gelled back and his cold pale blue eyes pierced him like knives as if accusing him of a crime he might have committed.

"You had me worried I thought I was going to have a dead man in my house."

He didn't look worried.

"You almost scared my companion to death when he saw you in the middle of the street like that."

Who?

"Oh I'm sorry I'm just rambling my name is Ludwig."

Finally a name to a face.

"Since you seem to be well might I ask your name?

"The swed shifted akwardly in the futon when he realized he should be feeling immense pain but only numbness filled his nerves.

"B'r'w'ld... Ox'nst'rn'..."

The swed began to feel light-headed.

"Berwald? Thats a swedish name. You very far away from home aren't you?"

Berwald looked up at him.

"Ar'n't w' al'?"

He said before he suddenly passed out leaving the German to search for a man named Kiku to attend to him or at least thats what Bewald heard before he completely blacked out.

As the finn began readying himself for the day he sang a song.

"_The Horizon now as dark as the crimes that brought them here, Is filled with my impending dread... My foolish actions will cost so many good men... Achilles has come... A thoudand sails approaching Sent here in her name to reclaim the one I stole..." _The door suddenly opened and a huge Russian man chimmed in with the song the finn sang. _"And destroy the walls of Troy... Desire leaves me numb to all the pain surrounding me To all the pain surrounding me."_

He wrapped his arms around the fin. "Your singing Alesana now? I would never suspect you to like that band Tino."

Tino shuddered when the man wrapped his arms around him and whispered his name so disgustingly sweet in his ear.

"They're alright they just have a few songs that are pretty catchy to me." _What am I saying they're awesome_, Tino thought but he knew better then to say that out loud especially with the Russian standing so close.

"Aren't they depressing though? I thought you would be happy having me?" The tall Russian looked down at Tino with a painful look in his eyes.

The finn turned around to face him and (tried) to wrap his arms around the russian's neck.

"You do make me happy."

Lies.

"Of course. You couldn't be anything with out me."

Lies.

"I am nothing without you."

Lies.

"I love you Tino my sweet."

Lies.

"I Love you too, Ivan."

**LIES.**

**A/N**: Hey sorry I didn't write on the other one I had no idea what I was doing heh... Sorry if this sounds like crap I'm actually making it up as I go... The song that was awesomely sang by Finland but not as awesome as I can sing it (I'm in Prussia mode if you haven't noticed) is Third Temptation of Paris from Alesana. Give me some reviews and help me improve on the story. I'd really appreciate it! Also I forgot to put a disclaimer I do not on Hetalia but if I did Finland would be a willing uke and there would be more yaoi then our minds could comprehend.


	3. Chapter 3

Tino started his chores around the house when Ivan left to run some errands. He washed the dishes, and dusted the piano room. Tino stared at the piano as he began to reminisce about the past.

He remembered how Ivan used to play the piano for him when they were teenagers. He would play a song called "Moonlight Sonata" from Beethoven. Just the way he seemed so calm when he played so gracefully.

Tino reached over and touched one key on the piano and a soft low sound played.

He sighed and went back to his house work. When it came around to be noon the whole house was cleaned. The finn grunted in satisfaction. He wiped the sweat of his forehead and looked at the clock.

_Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock. _

He pondered for a moment after examining the clean house.

"... What do I do now...?"

Surely he had something else to do.

He shivered at the thought of him staying there when the Russian returned.

"Hmm... I guess I'll go into town... Just to kill time..."

_Why do I sound like I'm reassuring myself?_

Tino shrugged off the thought as he reached for his jacket and placed his shoes on. He looked in the mirror to make sure no visible marks were showing on any part of his body. With the make-up covering parts of his neck he left thinking that today will just be a normal day.

Berwald looked out the window of the bedroom the German and apparently the Italian he just met shared.

When he met the Italian he greeted him with a "hug" (he could barely wrap his arms around him) and a "kiss" to the cheek (he couldn't reach so he kissed his chin which left Berwald blushing.) His name was Feliciano Vargas which he eagerly said as he basically hopped around in one place. His hair was a dark brown which matched his eyes and even though his hair was a bit curly one curl stood out the most on his left side that made Berwald wan to tug at it.

Of course, he didn't.

The man was very eager to meet Berwald for he was the one that found him unconscious and wanted to know how he ended up badly injured and other useless babble that the Italian thought. It made the swed have a headache and the feeling was mutual when he looked at the German as he rubbed his forehead.

It was nice though, having someone being friendly to him for the German was usually stoic and not a conversation starter and the Japanese man Kiku Honda (who he also just met) seemed extremely emotionally stiffled that the swed might as well not bother him.

Apparently they own this Bakery/Apartment which was said to be a hotspot in this village (apparently they always have people coming in and out but the swed hasn't seen anyone yet.)

It was a nice little Bakery though.

He examined the bedroom that he was forced to be placed in by Feliciano and was forced to put on clothing that the Italian bought for him. Even though the guilt was easily shown through Berwald's words and facial expression the Italian shook his head and complied that its all okay.

He rested his head on the pillow after another rush of pain swept through his body.

The Japanese man Kiku said that he had fractures in his arms and legs which in addition, to make matters worse, he has 4 cracked ribs which made it hard to breathe and walk.

He looked at the clock which read twelve o'clock P.M.

_Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock. _

The sound the clock made was almost like a metronome that made him feel a sense of drowsyness but before he could close his eyes he was shooken into semi-consciousness by the Italian.

"Ve I'm sorry to wake you up but I need you to do me a favor!" The swed mumbled incomprehensive words but the Italian thought he just agreed to what he said.

"Ve~ I know I shouldn't be letting you watch the Bakery but I have to go somewhere and Ludwig and Kiku aren't around and your injured and can't walk very well but can you please, _please!_ I'll be back as soon as possible and I'll explain everything you need to-" Berwald placed a finger to his lip.

"F'ne."

The Italian lit up the warmest and brightest smile he's ever seen anyone make for him. "Thank you! Thank you! _Thank you! _Come with me and I'll explain everything!"

Feliciano ran out the room leaving the injured swed to sigh in pain as he tried to lift himself off the bed to follow the Italian into the bakery.

After a hurried explanation of what to do Feliciano dashed out leaving Berwald alone.

He goaned.

_I should be resting damn it why can't I ever say no... Thats how I ended up like this! _

He started ranting in his head about how life usually sucks for him when the sound of a bell was heared which meant a costumer.

"H'llo w'lc'me to-" He stopped himself when he eyed the beauty in front of him.

His lightly pale skin was a beautiful creamy color that made Berwald want to like every inch of him. His pale blond hair that was nearly shoulder length made him wonder how the boy would react if he pulled it while having a passionate kiss staring into those deep violet eyes go clouded with a hazy lust.

But the swed was getting _way _ahead of himself when he just barely even just _seen_ the boy.

Tino let out a pathetic squeak when he saw the giant intensly stare at him. The look in his eyes looked as if he wanted to murder him which made him shutter.

He started to laugh nervously out of habit when he would be around Ivan which he absolutely hated.

Berwald blushed when he realized he was staring he then immediatly looked away, ashamed that he was having a fantasy play out in his head while the boy was just standing right there a few feet away from him.

"Umm..." Tino started but was to scared to finish.

"Did yo' w'nt s'meth'ng?" Berwald asked unsure of how to stop the akward atmoshpere that just emitted.

Tino blushed. "Umm... I was wondering if Feliciano was here... "

Then Tino all of a sudden felt immediatly guilty after saying that. "N-Not that I wouldn't want to see you! I-I mean ahh... I-I don't know you I-I mean umm uhhh..." Tino flushed a deep red wondering why he was suddenly flustered.

He never reacted this way when meeting a new person.

What was this feeling?

"S'okay." Berwald replied suddenly feeling self-conscious about himself.

"Sooo... I'm guessing he's not here then?" Tino also began to feel self-conscious about himself wondering if he looked presentable.

"No did ya need h'm f'r someth'n'?"

What a thick accent Tino thought.

"Ummm not really I just came here to kill time..."

Berwald grunted in response.

"Oh but umm... If you wouldn't mind umm... Could you I-I mean would you like to... Talk to me...? Sorry that sounds pathetic and-" The swed shushes him by handing him the sigh that says _Will Return In 1 Hour _which probably Feliciano should've used.

"L've to." Berwald replied with a blush unable to look at the finn.

Tino smiled which was something he hasn't been able to do in a long time from what he could remember.

Tino placed the sign on the door then turns to faces the giant.

"Shall we then?"

A small smile was shown on the swed's face that, to what Tino thought, made his facial features soften which seemed practically impossible.

"Kay."

He blushed as the giant motioned him to sit on the couch to start what would seem like an endless conversation.

**A/N: Gomen... I feel like this chapter seems a bit childish but I just read this one fic that made Sweden seem so lonley and perverted so please excuse his pervertedness! *Bows* I really wanna thank my onee-san (not really my sister just the bestest otaku buddy ever) for the advice and helping with my writers block. You should read her story Mall of Hetalia and Dead Set her Username is Kuromi Miyoshi! Also sorry I accidently put the first chapter again I think my computer's screwing up again damn it.**

**I do not own Hetalia but if I did Finland would be a willing uke and Italy would be transformed into a shota making this a Shota-con manga but really I'm no pedo keseses.**


	4. Chapter 4

"Sooo... Did you just start working here?" Tino asked as he munched on some chocolate cake that Berwald offered him.

"H'lpin' out..." The swed was way to ashamed to admit why he was really there.

Tino just smiled. "Heh your a good person for helping out. Usually no one wants to help out cuz they afraid of Ludwig or can't stand Feliciano." Berwald just grunted in response as he poured tea for Tino.

This gave the finn enough time to "closely" examine the tall swedish man. He had blond hair seemed to be the color of gold which made his beautiful blue-green eyes shine out even more. Tino wanted to trace his finger down every beautiful sculpted abs that shown through that extremely tight, tight shirt that made the finn shift uncomfortably in his seat just thinking about it.

As he looked lower he wondered what the swed was packing under those oh so tight jeans... Tino bit his lip and looked away.

How could he be thinking this when he just met the guy?

He didn't even know his name...

Wait...

He didn't know his name...

"My name's Tino by the way! Umm... Whats your name...?"

Wow pretty much late there, Tino thought.

"Hm, B'rw'ld." The swed mumbled.

It took Tino a minute to comprehend what the swed said.

"Berwald? Huh that's a strange name I've never heard it before." Berwald pour tea into Tino's cup. "T'no is also a strange name."

He smirked which made the finn pout. How cute, he thought.

"Tino is a normal name in Finand! I don't know what your talking about!"

This made Berwald give Tino a mischevious grin.

"B't B'rw'ld is n'rmal too in Sw'd'n and F'nl'nd. Y'ur j'st the w'ird one h're." This made Tino blush a bright pink that made Berwald chuckle.

The finn then sticks his tongue out. "Whatever! It's soooo normal infact! When I get home I'll google and print it out so I can rub it in your face!" The swed just rolled his eyes and smiled.

The way Berwald smiled at him just made Tino blush more. He just loved the way those eyes looked at him. Examining him but not like an oddity but with almost lust.

This made him shiver.

"Wh'ts wr'ng?" The swed asked as he place the tea pot on the counter then sitting near the finn.

"Oh! Umm... Nothing!" But the truth was Tino didn't understand why he was feeling this.

Usually he was distant towards everyone that tried to approach him even his friends! He barely met Berwald and now he seems to be completely relaxed when usually he has his guard up constantly trying hard not to show any kind of weakness.

What did this mean?

Tino shook his head. No he shouldn't be having these thought, not while there was Ivan... He can't betray Ivan or it will mean punishment... Probably the most extreme kind if he found out Tino betrayed him.

Berwald gave him a worried look then saw something he wished he hadn't.

When he looked down at the finn he saw bruises and cut marks that seemed fresh but were trying so hard to blend in with the make-up that was cast over it like a second layer of skin.

He was curious to know but Berwald knew not to ask such a question when he barely just met the boy but it pained him to wonder who would hurt this beauty and anger at the person who would hurt his beloved 'wife' (he decided to call him that after another fantasy went through his head.)

"Ar' ya okay T'no?" He asked only getting the same flustered reply of nothing.

This only made him sigh but then he cringed at the sudden pain that went through his body as he tried to breathe.

He tried to hide it but Tino saw right through him. "A-Are you okay?" He asks, scared and worried. "I'm f-" He cringed once again. The pain killers seem to be waring off... "What's wrong?" Tino's worried looked now turned into fear and desperation when he saw pain flash through Berwald's eyes. "P-Pa'n kill'rs..." He breathed (well tried to) when the pain became almost unbearable.

"I-I'll go look for them!" Tino got up from his seat then looked through every cabinet he saw then finally found what he was looking for. He grabbed his cup of tea and placed two pills in his hands.

"Take it quickly!" He said extremely scared but determined. Berwald immediatley took the pills and slowly but surely the pain left his body but he felt extremely numb and unable to move properly without having the feeling of drunken hysteria wash over him.

"Whats wrong? Why do you need pain killers?" Tino said unable to stop himself from asking. Berwald sighed knowing what he must say.

"I... I lied to ya earl'er 'bout me help'n' out her'... Thes' peopl' f'und me aft'r I got j'mp'd by thes' peopl' that happ'n to th'nk I w's one of my fri'nd's new b'yfri'nd and the r'ng lead'r wo'ldn't st'd f'r it. I w'lk'd 'll th' way ov'r her' 'nd pass'd out. Th'n s'meon' f'und me n'w her' I am." That was the most Berwald had said to anyone but he didn't understand why he had to spill his heart out to the finn.

He probably doesn't believe me and thinks I'm some kind of delinquint, Berwald though but when he looked over at Tino all he saw was that he had tears in his eyes which made the swed look at him in shock.

Why was he crying?

Tino sniffed.

"Thats horrible! Who would d-do such a h-horrible thing to you! Y-your the nicest p-person I know!" Tino forgot how much of an emotional person he was but when you live with Ivan you have to lock up your emotions for it will only bring pleasure to that sick sadistic bastard.

The finn then felt a hand on his cheek as Berwald's thumb washed away the tears. "S'okay T'no." Berwald sat up to look at the finn with his face inches apart from his.

Tino placed his hand on Berwald's and carressed it to his cheek.

"It's not right... No one should treat you like that..." He mumbled in almost completly quiet as he felt himself get closer to the swed now with noses touching.

"S'okay." It was the only thing Berwald could say when they both started to close their eyes and their lips crashed into each other.

Tino wrapped his arms around the swed as he started wrapping his arms around the finn's waist. The kiss became more heated when Berwald licked the bottom Tino's lip to gain entrance for the finn only to simply grant it. Their tongues danced with passion and dominence over one another only for the swed to easily win. Already losing their breath they part from their heated kiss for air that was needed in order for this to go even further.

But God wasn't on either's side today.

Tino looked at the grandfather clock that was a few feet behind Berwald which read 1:27 which was ten minutes for the alotted time that Ivan said he'd be home around.

"_Perkele_." He cursed under his breath wishing he could go further with this.

Further with _Berwald _and not _Ivan_ who always got his way with him but now Tino wanted to stay here and get to know the swed more. He didn't want the Russian having a whole search party just to find him with another man in bed.

What if Ivan triend to kill him?

Now Tino really didn't want that not when he actually feels something that was hidden for so long towards this man who he had just barely met. He didn't want to burden the man with his problems when he already has enough as it is with those painful injuries...

Tino pushed his way out of Berwald's grasp. "I-I... I'm sorry... I just can't..."

Berwald only nodded.

The pain in Tino's eyes could only show secrets that the swed wished he'd know but knew that the finn wouldn't tell him. Not easily anyways... He could see Tino wanted this as much as Berwald did but the look in his eyes showed that something was holding him back. Something... Horrible...

Berwald could only shutter at the thought of Tino having to go through his own personal while he just sat there and did nothing.

Was there something he could do?

But it seemed like his questions would never be answered as Tino walked towards the door only having the swed to follow.

His hand rested on Tino's shoulder before he could walk out.

"I'm s'rry..."

Tino looked up at him with only a smile that seemed ghost like but was so true to his heart.

"Don't be. I got to meet you and I couldn't be happier."

He placed his hand on Berwald's chest.

"I wish... We could've gone further with this..." Of course Tino didn't mean in a sexual way. He justed wanted to get to know the swed and possibly be lovers and live in a house together alone from all the things that would get in their way but it wasn't that easy. It may never be that easy and he didn't know if Berwald felt the same way. He could've thought that he was just another cute boy to hit on then screw them over even though he didn't seem like that kind of person but still...

Luckily Berwald knew exactly what he meant by 'We could've gone further with this...' He felt the exact same way and he also wished that Tino felt the same way about them being almost husband and wife.

He shook his head and grabbed Tino's hand that was on his chest and lightly kissed it. "I know." Was all he could say.

Then Tino walked out leaving Berwald to stare and watch as the figure of the finn slowly disappear into the bustling street of people staring until he knew he was gone.

He walked back to the couch and sat there for a few minutes until the German came home from God knows where.

He sees Berwald staring at the floor as if pondering about a murder or something which was how intense the look was.

He shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what to say to him. "Umm... Hey Berwald, are you okay?" Without looking up the swed grunted in reply to the German's question.

The German just shrugged it off leaving Berwald to ponder what he should do next.

The answer was simple really, in his head.

The answer made perfect sense really but would it be possible?

Yes. Yes it was.

Berwald was going to make Tino fall in love with him so they could run away together.

It was as simple as that.

_Right?_

**A/N: It's 1:32 in the mourning here on America's glasses (if your a huge hetalia fan and you don't know what I mean then shame on you) and I'm exauhsted. I started typing this chapter at 10 and look its alread 1:33 man how time flies... I wanna thank onee again just cuz she believe I can do this fan fic and I wanna thank my German friend Felix for keeping me up at night! Woo go Felix! I'm just gonna pass out now and I'll just say the usual. Please review and help me on anything or if I forgot something extremely critical that could make this story better please! Also I did alot of lazy writing so sorry 'bout that...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia in any shape or form but I own this fan fic so please don't take it away from me unless your my onee! Then you have my permission but still! Thanks for reading and sorry if it sounds crappy!**


	5. Chapter 5

The walk back home was excrutiating to Tino for every step he took he knew that hell was awaiting him. But then again the walk back home was long since he lived in the outskirts of the village for Ivan was a paranoid freak from when they lived together in Helsinki when they were younger, after all the gang members that were after _him _and as he only was endangering Tino.

Of course the finn didn't like thinking back when they lived in Helsinki together and all the horrible things they both had to do in order to survive.

Especially the personal hell Tino had went through when he had that sickness. Apparently living in this village was to keep Tino safe and calm but it only brought out the Russian's sick and sadistic mind since he couldn't take it out on anyone else.

The irony of it all just made Tino want to cry but of course he couldn't since he was only a few feet away from his house. When he got near the door the spare key he left under the mat wasn't there so it only ment that Ivan was already home.

_Oh shit... This is not good... He's gonna _**punish** _me... _Tino said his last prayer.

_Well... At least I got to meet Berwald... _

With the little courage he had he took a deep breath and grabbed the door knob knowing the door was open. Time seemed to slow down as he slowly turned the door knob centimeter by centimeter. Finally hearing the click of the door he opens it to only see the devil himself waiting patiently for him.

"_Hello Tino." _

Oh no.

...

Tino was pushed against the wall with his hands being held above his head by the Russian's iron grip on his wrists.

"Why weren't you here when I came home?" Ivan asked slightly smirking from the fear that visibly emitted from the finn's face.

Tino cringed when he felt the Russian start kissing his neck, nipping parts of his flesh to leave light little red marks that made the cuts on the finn's neck only more visible. This made Ivan bite his bottom lip already wanting to make Tino his once again.

"I was so worried about you." Tino didn't say a word. If he wanted this to end quickly he knew not to say a word.

"Hmph. Always the quiet one you. But they always say the quiet ones are the kinky ones." He purred into the finn's ear which only made him shutter.

The Russian just chuckled as he place a chastice kiss on Tino's lips. He didn't react to it though which made Ivan glare at him. He let go of Tino's hand and wrapped it around his neck. He squeezed which made the finn gasp out for air. "You haven't been very nice lately Tino. Its like you hate me or something." He squeezed harder.

_**"Don't you love me anymore?"**_

It sounded more like an accusation then a question but it didn't matter to the finn for 1.) He couldn't breathe and was about to pass out and 2.) He honestly didn't care about how the Russian felt and would rather die then say another fake _I love you_ to the bastard.

But today Tino didn't feel like dying.

After all he just met a wonderful person and he didn't want to fuck that up.

Not anyone.

Not even Ivan could ruin his mood today.

_I'll just humor him. _

"I love you." He said in gasps of air. When he said that it gave Tino a disgusting taste in his mouth and tried not to show it which was a success seeing Ivan only give him a smug smile and release around his neck letting the finn to breathe.

"Of course you do my sweet little _Tino_." He crashed his lips into Tino's forcing his tongue in. He traced his tongue around to feel and taste every part of the finn. Tino lazily moved his tongue around to give the Russian _some _pleasure so he wouldn't get the more of an excrutiating punishment **if **Ivan let this incident slide which was extremely rare.

"Tino." He said in a deep husky voice when Ivan parted from the kiss_. _

_"I need you right now." _He started to take deeper breaths and started grinding his newfound erection against Tino's crotch. This only made him shiver in disgust but he knew he couldn't get away.

"Then take me." The Russian only smiled as he crashed his lips once again against the finn's only more passtionate to show the love he had for him.

"Then lets make it the most beautiful evening, _da_?" He carried the finn bridal style to the room they both shared to have another "_passionate_" evening together as there usually was before the Russian would start drinking.

Then the _**real**_ punishment begins.

...

Berwald cringed when the Japanese man, Kiku, placed ointment on the cuts and bruises on the swede.

He was listening to the German lecture the Italian from the other room only to suddenly hear complete silence. He then heard the German mumble something then hearing the Italian scream "Ve! I love you to Ludwig!" Only to be lectured once again by him.

When Kiku was done he bowed to the swede and left the room quietly only to leave Berwald thinking of Tino once again. That was all the Swedish man was thinking of ever since the boy left.

The finn had left an imprint on Berwald's mind only making the swede think of the dirty things he could do to the Finnish boy.

With those extremely tight skinny jeans he wore he wondered how he was able to hide the outline of his underwear only to wonder if he was wearing any at all. The way his ass looked in those jeans made Berwald wonder why he didn't grab them when he had the chance after that passionate kiss they had.

Damn his shyness and consideration for others personal space! He sighed.

Things were going way to fast and he'd prefer them go alot slower but then he thought he just made out with a random person... He shivered at the thought of being like that french guy (_what's his name Francis or something?) _Basically whoring himself to any beautiful woman or men recently.

Just the thought of it made Berwald want to vomit but of course he couldn't do that. I mean at least he knew that Tino _likes _him.

Maybe they can go deeper with this even though they just barely met each other and already have made out when they were so close to actually making a smutty situation happen. Yeah... Yeah... It'll work out, yeah...

As he was reassuring himself yelling was heard on the other side by an unfamiliar voice that approuched Berwald's door.

"What do you mean I can't see the guy, West! What if he's some crazy axe murder just waiting to hack ya'll to pieces when you sleep then rape your bodies? The awesome me is not gonna let that happen! I'll save you guys!"

Berwald heard the German explain how his heroic actions were not needed and if that they were he'd ask Alfred instead of him.

_Whoever the hell that was, _the swede thought before his door was knocked from it's hinges, falling to the floor almost in the most dramatic fashion ever as the albino yelled, "ALL RIGHT WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU-!"

He completely stopped himself as soon as he eyed Berwald glaring at him. The look in the swede's eyes almost seemed like murderous intent which as actually a look of confusion but the Prussian didn't seem to understand. "OH MY BUDDHA WEST THE FUCKING DEVIL IS IN YOUR ROOM! IMA USE MY AWESOME PRIEST POWERS ON THIS DEMON! BEGONE SATAN! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"

Berwald tried not to laugh at the Prussian's remark. That wasn't the first time he heard that.

In almost a comical fashion the German karate chopped the screaming Prussian, silencing him as he fell to the floor. "Your one half-assed priest then. I'm sorry about that this is my brother Gilbert. Please ignore him as much as possible."

Gilbert looked up with a hurt look on his face as he wrapped his arms around the German's shoulders.

"How dare you say that to your awesome big brother that loves you so! I would've even took your virginity if you didn't say you love Feli! Oh what cruel fate has brought upon me and my emo brother!"

He clutches a rosary that appeared out of nowhere to his chest and falls to his knees as if he was praying. Berwald was amused by this little show and tried very hard not to laugh as he saw the look on the German's face.

It was priceless.

He smirked as the two began fighting when Kiku had returned to shoo them away for Berwald to rest.

The swede wanted to rest so badly but the thoughts of the finn kept popping up. His last option to get the finn out of his head, listen to music.

Unfortunatly he didn't have his ipod so he couldn't listen to his own music collection. So he began to hymn one of his favorite songs.

He hymned the first part the started singing quietly to himself. "_Storms will arise to condemn me. I will not die before her eyes... It ends tonight. Tragically I now must accept the penance I have earned. She is cursed and tonight we die. In the dawn of this, my end, I hold my sword true. I must let her go."_

He yawned.

All the medicine Kiku has been giving him makes him so tired. He starts to drift off as he says the part that reminded him of Tino when he left.

_"Pain fills her eyes..." _

He closed his eyes as an image of the finn greeted him with open arms. He smiled as he drifted off entering the dream world with hell awaiting him on the other side.

...

**A/N: Okay sorry about this and I'm already gonna apoligize for the next chapter. As I was making the 5th chapter I realized that it didn't make sense so I adjusted it and made it the 6th chapter and I had no idea what to put for the 5th chapter so I added Gilbert to release the emo tension. Also Sweden is not dead I'm just forshadowing something. Sorry about my rambling! I just broke my toe for being super moe! Moe moe kyun! I wanted to add Alesana again because I just love them! Next chapter is the flashback chapter for Finland and its well... Weird... I think I was on some kind of drug or something when I wrote it so sorry if it doesnt make sense. I swear I'll right smut soon! Ciao and is anyone willing to be my BETA reader?**


	6. Chapter 6

After once again getting his punishment but not the severe one (not yet at least until the Russian came back from the bar drunk) the finn started remember the times his life back in Finland.

He sometimes missed the old place for it was so beautiful country with rich culture and was especially nice during Christmas where his family would go to the sauna just chatting away about foolish things a child would only say not understanding the words that are coming out of his mouth.

Those were some of the happier times at least. Until his parents got killed in a car accident.

Everything changed abruptly after that.

**Flashback Begins**

_When his parents died the search for family members seemed futile for Tino. _

_The decision was made for him to be sent to a foster home. Not wanting to live with another family Tino tried running away only to be found a few hours later at his neighborhood park sleeping on the bench. _

_He was then sent to a foster home that was already filled with a bunch of children. _

_He met a Norwegian boy by the name of Christian that was near his age and his little brother from Iceland named Larus. Those were his only friends in the home for they were the only ones that seemed to understand the same pain Tino was going through. _

_They had a single mother that died with a broken heart after years of waiting for her husband to return to her and the children only recieving a note of his death. After reading it she collapsed and soon became very ill until she died a few weeks later. _

_Tino thought it was the most romantic thing he'd ever heard but felt immediatly guilty after thinking that when she left two children behind. _

_This only made Tino think about things a little boy his age shouldn't be thinking of. But this only made him think more when children started leaving the foster house. _

_He was afraid that Christian and Larus would leave him but instead someone new came into the picture. _

_He was a boy from Denmark. A loud and obnoxious boy to be exact that went by the name of Mathias. _

_He always seemed to want attention especially from Christian which confused Tino. _

_Around this time Tino was 11 and Christian and Mathias were 13. They were more "grown up" then he was and once when he went looking for Christian he found the two together in bed with Mathias on top. _

_"R-relax Chris..." He panted thrusting again to only have the norge let out an almost silent moan. "C-can't Matt... I'm... I'm gonna- Ah! Ah-!" He moaned but not loud enough to alert the others in the house as he came on the dane's stomach. Soon after Mathias also released in the boy silently crying out his name for only him to hear. _

_Tino just stood and watched. _

_He ran away quickly but silently not wanting his presense to be known. _

_He knew perfectly well what just happened for he was no saint. _

_He knew of these sins for his mother spoke of it when she read the bible to him. _

_She spoke of how it was a sin to have sex before marriage and to have relations with the same sex. He wanted to ask them about it but he knew it was something between them and it would only alert them of the fact that he caught them. _

_This started to make Tino have strange feelings that he hadn't felt before. _

_He looked at Mathias in another way. _

_He didn't understand these feelings but it wasn't of love. _

_It was lust. _

_He craved for the Danish boy. _

_He wanted to feel the same way Christian did and he finally got his chance when the Norwegien and Icelandic boy left to live with their adoptive parents. _

_He caught Mathias off guard, crying that Christian had left. _

_By this time Tino was 13 and Mathias was 15. _

_Tino tried comforting him in anyway he could when he suddenly saw this as an oppurtunity. _

_He seduced the dane into sleeping with him. _

_When the caretakers left to get buy groceries it only left the finn and the dane to do what adults did. _

_They made love. _

_He felt every heated kiss, every heated thrust that the dane sent his way. _

_This time though the finn could cry out the dane's name unlike Christian. He said it over and over until he could take it no more and came on the boy's stomach only for him to have his own release shortly after. After relaxing and trying to catch their breaths Mathias said something that Tino had not heard him say to Christian. "I-I love you, Tino." He kissed the finn passionatly only to begin once again the deed they had just finished doing. _

_After this day though them doing this deed stopped from being called making love to having sex for it turned into an addiction. They would explore new positions and have sex in every part of the house when the care takers weren't here. Soon the went to doing kinkier things by giving each other blowjobs and licking each others entrances and soon Mathias was able to get a stash of sex toys to use on the finn. _

_But this all changed when Mathias and Tino got adopted. _

_Tino was going to be sent to Helsinki to live with a woman that was supposedly part of his family while Mathias was being sent back to his old country where they finally found family members that would take care of him. _

_Tino was now 14 and Mathias was 16. _

_On the night before their departure they made love. Not just have sex. _

_But Tino always felt guilty afterwards knowing he didn't feel the same way the way Mathias felt but he didn't want to tell him since they probably were never going to see each other again anyway. _

_When they said their final good-bye to each other Tino got in the car and left for Helsinki. Thinking maybe that this would be a good change of pace and that he'd forget about Mathias. _

_But he was wrong. _

_When he arrived he met this women that was supposedly his aunt for she looked mostly like his mother. She was kind but didn't really understand what to do with Tino. Usually she would let him do whatever he wanted and that was fine with him. _

_Suddenly though Tino began to feel ill. Not like he was sick but that his mind was jummbled in a way. He began to crave to have sex and at the school he went to everyone seemed to innocent and to close to God which only made him laugh at the people that would openly talk about their "savior" which easily made him have no friends (I mean come on he went to a private catholic school.) Then he started feeling paranoid about his surroundings like something was watching him. He started seeing things but completely ignored them. _

_When he went grocery shopping with his aunt he knew that he should pick the fruit from the back instead of the front for thats where random people's crotches were level to the fruit. _

_When he got in line he saw a man that had a shirt that read 2nd place is 1st place for losers. _

_He then started to examine how he lived life by basically narrating in his head and sometimes he realized he was talking out loud to someone only realizing no one was there. _

_He went walking around with a girl that was his only friend at school to the park. _

_Her name was Elizabeta and she was a Hungarian girl who was kind to him but had a tom-boyish way of speaking which the finn liked. _

_When they went to the park they layed on the grass and started talking about how they would wanted to be buried when they died. Elizabeta said she'd rather be buried then cremated for it seem more nature friendly. Tino said he'd rather be neither for when your cremated the juices in your brain make your head explode from the pressure of the heat and that being buried was just you rotting in the ground. Instead he'd rather be sent to space but it would probably cost to mush money for his whole body to be sent and would rather just send his head. _

_Elizabeta said that'd be gross knowing Tino's head would just be floating into deep space._

_Tino's illness then began to get worse the more he thought of the things that made up his everyday life. _

_His craving for sex got worse when he started to finally start whoring himself out to anyone willing to pay. He made all the men wear condoms so he wouldn't have to explain to his aunt how he got an STD. _

_One night when he went home he decided to write down everything he did. He wrote that when he got home he turned on the tv to watch one of the international channels from Mexico and it was showing Mexican boxing. When one of the guys accidently head butted the other guy his forehead split open. _

_They replayed this over and over again. _

_Tino was eating chips when this happened and yet he never stopped. _

_He realized after awhile of eating that the tv was off and he was only staring at the screen. _

_He flipped it back on only to watch something about a manitee then he got a call from Elizabeta. He talked to her about the manitee then the Hungarian girl started talking about a movie that had a giant manitee attacking a town with Tino correcting her that it was a giant mantis. _

_After the call Tino wrote down everything and when he read it back it said something completely different then just what happened. _

_When he went to go back to watching tv he got another bag of chips and ate the whole thing once again. Then he felt terrible and started throwing up. _

_When his aunt came home they took him to the doctor and said it was a stomach virus but Tino then asked why there was a giant hampster in the room. After that comment they decided to do some scans on his brain only to find a tumor. _

_After weeks of preperation the operation was a success and Tino was given medicine that may give him hallucinations and paranoia which was what he was already suffering from when he had the tumor. _

_When he got home he wrote this all down and read it over again to find that he only wrote "The moon is pretty." _

_Then he decided never to write in it anymore. _

_One day Tino just started to feel terrible and his aunt stayed home from work to help him. _

_When Tino got up to get a glass of water his aunt noticed a long piece of thread hanging from his shirt. _

_She got the scissors but as she crept closer to him Tino lashed out and slapped the scissors away. _

_His aunt looked at her with pain in her eyes. She said 'How could you think I'd ever hurt you?' _

_Then she crumpled to the floor. _

_At that moment Tino thought she looked old. _

_He was 16 now and he felt alot better about being older. _

_But the he was having those strange hallucinations again. _

_He saw a boy with a clubbed foot asking him if he wanted a newspaper article about geography. _

_He thought why couldn't the boy be selling japanese yaoi magazines then he thought why did I think of that. _

_He told his aunt that he was having the hallucinations again and they went to the doctor. The scanned his brain and said nothing was wrong and that maybe he should stop taking the medicine that was proscrbed to him. _

_When he did that it just made things worse. _

_His mind wandered about things that would seem strange to someone but was perfectly normal to him. _

_He kept thinking of his life and where he was headed. _

_His life began to go downhill as he suffered from depression. His hallucinations got worse when he started taking his medicine again. _

_He then started to realize he wasn't in reality anymore. _

_He kept going in and out of his self-conscious especially during times he was out on the streets, whoring himself out. It was extremely dangerous especially this one night. This man thought Tino was a woman and when he saw the unexpected surprise pop out of his underwear he began beating the finn. Cuts were visable on his thigh's and he was raped repeatidly as the man said he was going to "get the gay out of him" which only made things worse for the finn when he was having another hallucination. _

_His life flashed before him. _

_He witnessed everything from when he was a toddler to what was happening now but in a skipped version and instead he saw the nightmare-ish figures that usually would pop up in his dreams. _

_Visions of himself slowly melting away into the nightmare-ish figures only to reveal that the figures were the ones he called friends and family. _

_His mother, father, aunt, Christian, Larus, Mathias and Elizabeta were all there staring down at him. Encircling him, coming closer and closer with hatred in their eyes. Blood then began to pour from their body's. Their eyes began to blacken as if gauged with only the crimson to fall on Tino. His haired soaked from their blood as it dripped slowly as if time had stopped. When the crimson hit the floor the ones that he loved fell with it. _

_Fear and shock had finally hit the finn. _

_He raised his hands to his face to see their crimson mix with each other to form a black liquid that too dripped from Tino's hands as if he caused a murder. He finally awoke from his vision to hear a deafening scream only to realize it was him. _

_Finally closing his mouth, he looked around to see his new surroundings. _

_Apparently he was in the ghetto of Helsinki. _

_No one was around the alleyway and only the finn sat their near a trash can to hide his prescence from anyone that would pass by. _

_His clothes were blood and cum stained from the incident that happened moments ago or perhaps hours ago, Tino couldn't remember. His body ached especially his lower part of his body. _

_Tino began to cry. _

_He wanted his personal hell to stop. He wanted to be with his mother and father. He wanted to go home. He wanted everything to be like it should be before any of this happened. _

_He cried as the rain wept with him. _

_He hadn't realized it began to rain but he didn't care for he thought it set the mood. _

_He thought of going back to his aunt's house but he was to ashamed for her to see him like this. _

_He was so ashamed of what he had become. So ashamed that he let the hallucinations and paranoia take over him. _

_He cried more. _

_"Hey are you alright?" _

_Tino looked up only to see a figure shrouded in darkness only to realize it was-_

**Flashback Ends**__

"TINO! TINO WHERE ARE YOU? DID YOU LEAVE ME AGAIN?"

Wow, he's home early.

That screaming only meant he was drunk. Just like the finn expected him to be when he would return home from drinking his favorite heavy liquor of vodka.

Tino sighed, awaiting his "serious" punishment.

This time the finn wished that his hallucinations would return when he was forced to be with the Russian.

All he wanted was to be "free" from his hell.

The Russian slammed the door open.

"Oh Tino... I thought you left me..." He got on the bed a placed himself on top of the small Finnish boy, placing all of his weight on him to ensure he wouldn't escape.

"Of course you wouldn't leave me. Your nothing without me."

Tino could taste the vodka from when Ivan kissed him.

"Of course." The finn agreed.

Of course he was nothing without him for Tino couldn't govern his own life. Ever since he was with Ivan the hallucinations ceased but the paranoia stayed but hey, aren't we all paranoid? This was one of the few reasons why the finn stayed with him.

But it was a horrible excuse.

The Russian chuckled. "Of Course."

**Do you know where Hell is? **

**It's in my mind.**


End file.
